The Stars Spin By

My heart aches

My heart breaks

When I sit under this sky

And watch the stars spin by

.

And I’m here wondering why

Watching this midnight sky

I’m alone for tonight

And nothing is right

.

Because imprinted on my eyes

Is you in your disguise

With her, with her, with her

Under my skin, a burning burr

.

And all I want for right now

All I want is to know how

To find my happily ever after

To finally find my laughter

.

To wish on that shooting star

To be right where you are

Instead, here I am with a broken smile

And you carrying on all the while

.

So here I am, here I stand

Just wanting to take your hand

Instead you’re with her

She’s the one you prefer

.

So my heart aches

And my heart breaks

Where I sit under this sky

And watch the stars spin by

.

I admit, I had another poem in mind for this week, but, for some reason, I wrote this one the other day, and felt like it fit this week. It’s grey and rainy here, and the weeks are dragging by while I wait for the key to the door to summer. Because instead of being set free into the summer heat, I’m stuck inside while it rains and I’m pouring over math and science until my head spins.

Not to mention I just feel so dreary. Sad. And lonely, because everybody else is cooped up during the day, studying for these diplomas that will be the death of us all. And while I’m excited for summer, I’m also wondering what it will bring.

This is also a poem for all those who have watched somebody that they want walk away with somebody else.

I’ll have more light-hearted stuff next week, I promise. 🙂

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Odd Place To See

What an odd place to be

Where suddenly I see

A place for you

A place for me

With the trees holding up the sky

Where we will never die

.

While you spin me in circles

A place of miracles

Like the sun that sets the fire

And burns its own desire

As it sinks into the night

Where everything is right

.

And we are young

And the summer has begun

Let the shadows play

Until another day

Where an odd place to be

Holds only you and me

.

Yes, it’s an odd place to be

With only you and me

This prairie daze

The twilight haze

Of a lovers field of dreams

Where we can plant our schemes

.

And watch them grow in stars

No matter where we are

As they sparkle

As they shine

As you whisper, as we twine

In this grassy place

.

And we are young

And the summer has begun

Let the shadows play

Until another day

Where an odd place to be

Holds only you and me

.

And I want the fire

I want desire

I want everything that comes with you

Here on this prairie blue

So give me your love now

And help to show me how

.

While we are young

And the summer has begun

Let the shadows play

Until another day

Where an odd place to be

Holds only you and me

.

Give me another kiss

Where it’s never felt like this

Let the stars dance

Let the moon prance

And I’ll see them in your eyes

A silver blue surprise

.

You are my perfect night

In my illuminated sight

Give me more, give me you

And don’t stop until we’re through

It’s a summer night

Where everything is finally right

.

We are young

And the summer has begun

Let the shadows play

Until another day

Where an odd place to be

Holds only you and me

So today was the last day of High School. The last day I’ll ever walk in to go to work. To do science labs. To wander the halls aimlessly. It’s a weird feeling, and doesn’t feelquite real. I also think that that is due to the fact that diploms are on their way, and we haven’t walked the stage yet. I mean, it’s still grey and rainy here, so how can summer and high school be over? Especially when I have all this studying to do? It’s weird.

However, this poem is to celebrate this day, and the summer that is right on our doorsteps. And I can’t wait for the adventures that it will bring. 🙂

A Cowboy, a Dirt Road, a Sweet Romance

It’s a place in my heart

Where we were young and free

Where summer’s heat was part of me

And we had nowhere else to be

Where the world was far away

And our young love was here to stay

.

It’s where you and I

Once fell in love

Under that blue Alberta sky

In that old blue Ford that always died

Where our memories and the radio entwined

Where our fates began to twine

.

It’s  a dirt road sunset

Sitting on the hood of that truck

A little bit of whiskey

Doing something risky

Watching the sun’s fire

Ignite it’s own desire

.

Its cut-off jeans, a white tank top

Your flannel shirt ‘round my shoulders

With the fiery fields all aglow

Singing along to the radio

A little bit of rum and coke

A little bit of campfire smoke

.

It’s a whisper in my ear

Smell of your leather and my perfume

Mixed together, a sweet concoction

Cuts my breath, just like a toxin

Where the catch that’s in your voice

Is a calling, not a choice

.

It’s the trees that hold the sky

Casting shadows on your face

This forbidden meeting

With my heart beating

Your name, tattooed with every pound

That beats too loud, an audible sound

.

It’s the crickets singing

The moon’s fair light

Slippery shadows across your face

A vivid picture, I can’t erase

A coyote’s shrieking, weeping cry

The night we thought would never die

.

It’s a slow, slow dance

A cowboy, a dirt road, a sweet romance

Swaying to the music of the night

Giving in to you without a fight

To your strong arms, your hungry eyes

That even the night couldn’t disguise

.

It’s that lingering kiss

Your hand in my hair, tangled there

It’s the goodnight, goodbye

The sound of your sweet sigh

It’s how I remember those days

Out where the horses graze

.

Where it’s a place in my heart

Where we were young and free

Where summer’s heat was part of me

And we had nowhere else to be

Where the world was far away

And our young love was here to stay

.

We all want to fall in love; we all want that fire, that ice, that beauty that results in the knowledge that somebody truly and deeply cares about you. It’s all part of human nature to want it.

I know I seem to write an abundance of love poems, which could be considered strange for somebody not in a relationship, or who has never even been in a serious one. But, we always want what we can’t have, right? And, since the last time I checked, I am human, of course I want to find love. So, perhaps, I write love poems because I write of something I’ve only read about, and turn my want into daydreams…that turn into the poems here. Is that so wrong? Personally, I think not. After all, it saves me from doing something with a stranger; because I have lived my daydreams through these poems. And in that, I might be weird, but who knows? Do most authors not live in their stories at one point or another? Why should it be so different for anyone who writes poetry?

Anyways, with the school year almost at an end, I have to start really focusing on my school work, so don’t expect me to post every week…at this point, it may be once every two weeks. And, I’m going to be way worse in the summer. Me posting every week when I would rather be drinking up the rather rare warm temperatures in mild Calgary is more of a draw for me than anything else…not to mention it’s more of an inspiration that staring blankly at Microsoft word, trying to get what I want to say out on paper (err…the screen). My poems are so much better when they are not forced.

And with that note, adieu.

 

 

Beyond The Wintery Walls

When the wings

Of a black bird sings

A song of wonder

A song of hope

My heart flutters

Looking for wonders

 

Far beyond these kitchen walls

Something brighter calls

It tells of summer

It tells of spring

My eyes widen

And look to hide in

 

The call of the dance

Of summery days

A time of freedom

A time of heat

When I could live

And I could give

 

My heart to another

Someone new

Handsome

And true

When I could dance

And sweet romance

 

With the man of summer’s hue

Sun kissed and smiling

Laughing

Dancing

There we would lie

Under a drunken sky

 

With the wine of summer’s dew

Drunk on sun

Drunk on you

Intoxicated hearts

Like stealing tarts

 

From the window pane

Where I’m the same

Dark kitchen walls

Dark peeling halls

Summer’s gone

It’s winter’s dawn

 

And love is gone

Where it once shone

Like summery sun

Like flowers sprung

And now, I’m alone

I’m winter’s own

 

– Another poem. This one is a little late; I’ve been super sick. Think bronchial infection mixed with ear infection mixed with the flu from last week. So while I meant to post this right after the quote, I, unfortunately, could barley muster the energy to go to school, and then to volleyball practice, where I could barley move. Excuses, I know. Oops.

Anyways, this poem. A little different, and I’m not quite sure where in the world it came from. I’m thinking is stems from my and my best friend’s talk about guys, love, summer, winter, fall. And it all kinda fell into my head in the format you see above. 

How many movies in one’s lifetime, how many books, do we read and see about summer romances? Grease, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Dear John, The Last Song, etc. But sometimes we don’t get to see what happens after the happy couple finally get together. What do they do? What happens if they break up? What happens if it doesn’t work out? Then what? That’s kind of how I read this poem, and kind of the story behind it. A young girl has a summer romance, that ends when the leaves begin to fall. But she really did like him, and now, she’s alone again in her home, that reflects, in  way, how her heart is – dark, and in need of a reno, so to speak.

One thing to note on this one, is that the girl in the poem is not me. I had a quick summer fling a year ago, when I was out of town, but it barley lasted long enough to get it off the ground, and I can hardly count it as a relationship. In fact, I was the one who broke it off fairly quickly. But that also make me think; was I too quick, too harsh? Was I only afraid to give it a chance? Is that why I’m afraid that I’ll be the one alone while all my friends get married? Then I remember, that I’m not the only person who wonders if they are going to be ‘forever alone’. Everybody is afraid, to some extent, that they will never find ‘the one’, or find somebody who loves them, flaws and all. It’s just harder when you feel like you are alone in feeling that way.

So, I’m waiting for love, and hoping, in a secret way, that I’ll find a summer romance…and be able to keep it longer than the summer heat. Because when that fades, there’s nothing left but cold. And I want someone to be there through the cold. Trivial, in it’s own way, but true.

Unfairy Tale

There was a place

Once upon a time

Where there existed

You and me

A time of fairy tales

And make believe

Where there was only

You and me

Singing in the sunlight

Dancing in the rain

Singing our own love song

About you and me

Hiding in the forest

Playing in the trees

Our own hideaway

Just for you and me

Living our own fairy tale

Of make believe and gardens green

Hiding in a living dreams

Just for you and me

.

There was a place

There was a time

When you were mine

When there was only you and me

But we watched the castle crack

As winter witches swooped in

And took siege to your heart

No room for you and me

They cackled as they watched

As I cried and pleaded

Told you I needed

All of you and me

And I almost saved you

From their eager lies

I could see it in your eyes

It was only you and me

Until they brought out their fair prize

Beauty with sapphire eyes

And I lost us

Lost all of you and me

.

There was a place

There was a time

Where there existed

You and me

But beauty prevailed

With the witches cold

And nothing became

Of you and me

I watched you walk away

I watched you disappear

Leaving behind the summer tale

Of only you and me

So I was left in the castle

Watched it take on weeds

As I lived on the disease

That was you and me

I watched the castle crumble

Watched the forest fall

Waiting for your return

With love for you and me

.

So, a little bit dark, a little bit shady, a little bit poetic. I have no idea what even inspired me to write this poem. I found myself at school opening up Word, and typing in the first four lines:”There was a place/Once upon a time/Where there existed/You and me.” And I wondered, once upon a time? Really? What can you write about princess and witches and princes without sounding too Disney. And, ahah! Heart-break. Perfect.

I still find myself reading way too much into this poem, though. Did the prince come back? Did she wait until the castle around her completely crumbled before she gave up? Did she give up? Or did the prince finally come back after meeting with his blond-haired, blue eyed princess and apologize for leaving his fair lady waiting? Were they still young? Or were they both white haired and old? Did they still love each other?

The thing is I don’t want to write it. Secretly, I think I know what happened. Secretly, I know the ending. But I won’t let you know. You read into this, and you find the ending that suits what you think happened.

Sunshine and Rainstorms

When I wanted to feel like

My life was worth living

Tangled in the threads

Tangled in the strands

Of us

When we danced in the rain

Bare feet on the pavement

The grey rain sighing

The grey rain singing

Of us

When we both laid down

On the wet spring green grass

Telling a new day

Telling a story

Of us

When the sun shone

Trees dripping with sunlight

Highlighting a time

Highlighting a flash

Of us

When you told me you loved me

Light in your honest eyes

Showing a new truth

Showing a new life

For us.

 

 

Love poems. Sometimes cute, sometimes not so much. Though I will be the first to admit I have never been in love, I will also admit that love is not about the first sight. It is not about the ‘sex appeal’ or the ‘look’. It’s about that person. It’s about the way that they look at you. It’s the way that when you fight, how you deal with it. I have seen enough relationships fail – hem hem, Hollywood, anybody? – but I have also seen my Grandparents celebrate their fifty-first anniversary this year. I’ve seen my friend’s hearts broken, and a few relationships gone wrong, but I’ve also seen those couples whose love is reflected in the way their rings fit on their clasped hands. I’m far from the first person to run to when you need a little love advice, but I’m also far from the last.

The Dance Forgotten

When life was a song, and the song a dance

I would dance and sing, and sing and dance

I would find myself in the beat of the rain

When there was nothing left but all the pain

I would climb the trees of time forgotten

When history was made and history forgotten

When times were simpler, and full of life

I would remember those times, in the night

What sounds better than a howling wolf?

Singing about life as a lonely sad wolf

Singing to the lovely lonely silver moon

What sounds better, in the month of June?

High above in golden trees forgotten

A time of dark that I’ve forgotten

A time of blooming in the summer nights

High where I would come

And come to life.

 

 

And something a little different from most of the poetry I have written, a little more abstract. I will admit that I just let the words flow, looking for a little something that would give feeling rather than a pure play of words. Those are the poems that when they flow, you repeat them in your head for hours, just thinking about it. I was going for for feeling that anything else, and I feel that I might have accomplished it. Not my best work, by far, but something to share. Any feedback is welcome!